Night Six

I am officially CPR certified. So if I see you choking and I blink and walk away, technically I can be held liable. Fun, huh?

I got to class and we immediately began to cover what rhythms an AED will shock (V-tac and V-fib which are ...well only way I can remember is "top line and bottom line" which may or may not make sense to anyone else. But I remember this because a flatline or acystole. Which I just spelled completely phonetically, by the way). Then we discussed the stuff we already knew (30 compressions, 2 breaths, rate of 100pm) and then we got to stare at creepy child dolls.

They were all...gaping mouths and striped onesies and it was generally freaky. However, using a BVM on an infant sized mannequin was way easier than using one on an adult so I rocked that. Actually it was funny - after just one night of working on the adults when it came to the infants I was a lot more confident as to where to compress and how.

Generally the chest won't LET you compress any deeper than you need to so that's good.

With an infant you can use two fingers to press down on the chest, or you can wrap your hands around the sides and use your thumbs. I found that way easier for the throat not closing again but it shouldn't be used without help for breaths because then you have to put them down for breaths and that defeats the purpose since the airway closes. So it's a good idea to put a facecloth or similar between the shoulder blades to help keep the throat open.

And then came testing time.

I was all geared up, asking to hit some dummies before we actually got tested on it - and was informed "oh, you all passed the practical part of it Thursday." And then they handed up a twenty-question test.

Yes.

Really.

The American Heart Association CPR certification test is TWENTY QUESTIONS LONG.

Multiple choice, too.

I missed one, and that's because I didn't read all of the possible answers.

Busy and Holes both failed it the first time - if you miss more than three you don't pass. Notice how I said first? Apparently you can re-take the test just as many times as you feel you need to.

Yes, really.

No, I'm not kidding.

They both passed it the second time but if they hadn't, they could have just...kept taking it.

These are the people who might stumble upon you after your heart stops. Yes. Really.

So there we go. I'm now a Certified CPR provider.